Until five years ago I had never heard of Scleroderma and even Raynaud's was a phenomenon that I had read about but just thought my cold hands and feet were a normal reaction to the cold! Then, suffering from what I thought might be arthritis in my thumbs (my Gran had had rheumatoid arthritis) I went to the doctor. Well, the consultant said don't worry you have the less serious form of scleroderma - called CREST and that was it! No treatment, tests, just an annual check up and that with an assistant who thought there was nothing wrong! But also that year - I was diagnosed with breast cancer which needless to say wiped everything else from my mind.
These events made me re-evaluate everything. I took time off work to deal with the cancer treatment and I did loads of research - really looking to see why all this had happened to me. Oh yes and a few months later, redundancy came along. The latter was a godsend as I was able to take early retirement and concentrate on my future. Some positive steps taken were to change my consultant, join a cancer support group and be open with my friends as to possible limitations as to what I could and couldn't do.
There are days when my hands won't work; when the cold really gets to them and my digestion isn't what it should be but most of the time life is good and 'normal'. There are days when any little ailment or symptom obsesses me - is this the scleroderma or the cancer or just the normal ups and downs of life - time-bomb time but the brick wall that appeared five years ago when I couldn't think beyond the disease from day to day is now a low parapet that occasionally has an extra row of bricks that I have to climb over. And the great thing is that I can climb over it!
People say that your priorities change when your health is compromised in any serious way. I don't think that mine has changed significantly - perhaps the difference is I'm making the choices. I still rush round doing too much and always playing catch up but I love travelling, studying for a Master's degree, spending time with friends, theatre, even joining a gym and hopefully in January I'll be going skiing again - the first time in five years.
I am lucky in that my condition is mild and so far seems not have progressed and I can live a normal life. I took my GPs advice and live life to the edge of my limitations and my personal goal is then try to push out the boundaries when I can.
